an Ode to Stretchy Pants.
O leggings from Target, how I adore thee.
I wear you every day.
I have so many of your soft, black pairs.
All have holes on the knees and crotch region, and yet
I can’t throw you away.
I learned to sew your holes from compulsive wearing and washing.
Thanks for stretching after I eat too much pizza.
Thanks for letting me wash you thousands of times without disintegrating.
You only cost $8.
I love you.
Give me pizza!
Give me death!
Juelles hits the pages of deVour Magazine with Melanie Blankenship.
makeup / hair / style / shot: Chris Ruston
While beautifully written, this is difficult to read.
Are some people born pedophiles?
Whether they are or not, how do we deal with someone wanting something they really, really can’t have?
In the end, human nature always wins.
Why do we do things we know are bad for us?
I Pretended to Be Offended:
"Miss, I’m going to need to see your ID".
I’m like, so young.
my brain was on fire
why do i insist on being such a weirdo?
(its the only thing i know)
do you hate me?
do i care?
where do i go from here?
when did i go from being happy and carefree to being so angry?
How do you know your book is a total dud?
When you fall asleep after listening to the audio version after 60 seconds
…every single night.
Angela’s Ashes, I’m talking to you.
This won the goddamn Pulitzer and they couldn’t hire a professional reader to narrate this?
Instead they let the author to record it (WHY GOD WHY) in his old, heavy Irish accent.
In a word, terrible.
Juelles says: minus (-10) stars
It’s about goddamn time.
Wait, ALL of them?
Via my visa application:
"List all countries visited in the last 10 years."